Most of us know a beautiful, intelligent, 30-something black woman who swears she can't find a man, in spite of the fact that she might likely know several men who would marry her at the drop of a dime. In some cases, her perception of the perfect man is elevated to the point that every man she meets misses the mark (except for unavailable ones).
-Black Voices
And I will add that many men fall into that same thing as well.
Let me state that there are two reasons for this. Firstly I've come to the conclusion that a lot of people simply do not understand how attraction works. A lot of these good men that women overlook are simply not "attractive" to them. Perhaps they lack "swagger" perhaps they are simply not physically attractive to her. Who am I to tell a woman she ought to lay up with a man who turns her stomach just because he has a decent job and worships the ground she walks on?
But getting back to the 'swagger" issue, the thing about that is, when it comes down to it. When the babies are made, the mortgages are due, the homework to be checked and the PTA meeting to attend, Swagger really doesn't mean too much.
Where I live there are a number of Indian families. The women generally stay home and take care of the children and the men go outside the home and earn. No I am not promoting this. The majority of these men have no swagger whatsoever. I'm talking white socks under dress slacks and black shoes. I'm talking "walk funny". I'm talking all the stuff that would mark your average negro as "boring as fuck".
What these fellows all have in common though is dedication to family and a hell of a work ethic. Though I haven't actually asked any of the women, I would suppose that they chose, or their parents chose for them, their husbands for the qualities that made him a good husband and not a good entertainer.
I'll be honest and say that I've passed on some women for reasons that were purely selfish and had no real bearing on their value as a wife or mother and similarly I think there are not a few women who have passed on men for reasons that have nothing to do with what they claim they want long term in a husband.
If we're not honest with ourselves about the choices we make, we will end up 40, wondering what the hell happened and fail to realize that we are most likely single due to the decisions we made and not for the lack of "good" men and women available to us.